13 Things They Don’t Tell You About Becoming a Mom
Becoming a mom is so spectacular that it has its own word, matrescence.
The physical, psychological, and emotional changes that occur while becoming a mom are like nothing else.
My most favorite part about the journey is that every mom’s story is unique and her own. And no matter the story, we all share that it is a wild ride!
I love being a mom, even when times are crazy hard.
I have learned so many awesome lessons in becoming a mom and have had such monumental moments that have shaped me into being a better person.
My favorite lessons learned are the ones I did not read in any book, and they are the ones that no one talks about.
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Here are the 13 things they don’t tell you about becoming a mom
1. Moms Wear Diapers Too
After vaginal deliveries, I did not know that in addition to changing my baby’s diaper, I would also be changing my own.
Being a bloody mess for weeks to come in a soggy, cold, witch hazel infused grown-up diaper that squish-squish-squishes as you sorely walk is…an experience…
2. Breastfeeding is Not Natural
My babies did not “just know” how to latch onto my nipples. Each had to learn with me how to successfully nurse.
And OMG. I will never forget when my firstborn clamped down on my nipple like a shark biting off a human’s leg, smashed it between her gums, and yanked on it like it was supposed to come off my body. We both screamed and cried.
Breastfeeding is not supposed to hurt. But the pain-free breastfeeding does not happen until after the baby learns how to properly latch and suck, which takes a few trial and errors on blood-cracked, sore nipples (at least in my case).
Make sure you have nipple cream.
3. The Hormonal Rollercoaster is Long Lasting
No one tells you it’s normal to wake up in a pool of your own sweat because your body is going through hormonal changes that cause you to feel like you’re having menopausal hot flashes.
Or that your raging hormones that made you feel crazy during pregnancy don’t just disappear postpartum.
They have to go on a roller coaster ride a few more times after you give birth–from the releasing of the baby to the building of breast milk…the hormonal emotions can be INTENSE!
4. You Do Come Back
A few days back to work after maternity leave, a coworker shared with me interesting insight.
She said that after having her 3 children, she noticed she felt back to “normal” after each child was about 18 months old.
She went on to say that there will be days where you will be so sleep deprived, cranky, overwhelmed, sad, lost…but you will keep at it. And you will just figure this is the “new” you.
But then one day, you will realize you have a rhythm, you have found yourself again, you have motherhood down, and you are “you” again. You will feel like your regular self.
Her time table of 18 months post pregnancy ended up being pretty true for me with each of my pregnancies, give or take a couple months.
But at the time of when she shared this information, I was only 3 months in, and I did not understand what she meant. The further along I went of trying to balance this new chapter in my life, though, the more I understood her comments. And the more I clung to them.
It is easy to feel lost or upside down at times, especially when everything is so new in the beginning. But you DO get to the other side and you WILL feel awesome again!
5. A New Kind of Love is formed
I will never forget the moment I held my firstborn in my arms for the very first time. It is one of my most favorite memories in my life. My heart felt like it might explode from the overpowering feeling of love.
I did not know the love from a mom to her child would be so beautifully different than any other kind of love.
6. See the World Through a Child’s Eyes
One of my most favorite parts of being a mom is getting to see the world through my children’s eyes.
EVERYTHING is so exciting, fun, and new. From clouds to bubbles to flowers to bugs, everything is so neat and worth stopping to explore and appreciate.
The pure joy children have about everything is the absolute best. My kids are constant reminders to me about the importance of being PRESENT and appreciating the simple things.
They make life so incredibly fun.
7. Becoming a Mom is Grounding
Before becoming a mom, I went to work early and stayed late. Once I had my firstborn, I stopped that.
I learned real quick how to work smarter, not harder, so that I could spend more time with my most favorite people–my family.
Becoming a mom made me realize how valuable time is, and we need to use it wisely. I know everyone knows that, but it hit me hard when I started having children.
I quickly realized there is more to life than my job, and I want to spend my time with the people who matter most to me doing the hobbies we love to do.
Becoming a mom made me cut the stuff (and the people) I wasted my time with, and I really prioritize now what matters most.
I have my awesome children to thank for that.
8. Becoming a Mom Broadens Perspectives
Becoming a mom has opened my eyes on a lot of things.
For one, I used to be so quick to judge people, especially parents.
Now that I am a parent, I definitely realize there is more than one way to do things. What works for one does not work for all.
I have an understanding now of how when your kids are so young, so much is out of your control.
Like not being able to attend something because your child is sick or your nanny cancels. Or if you do attend, you might be late because your child had a diaper explosion on your clothes on your way out the door…The list is endless!
Becoming a mom has made me more open minded and has given me more patience and compassion.
9. Becoming a Mom Makes You Think Twice
Someone once told me that you are the best version of yourself when you are in front of your children.
I completely agree. However, I want to be the best version of me regardless of if I am in front of them.
My kids really make me think twice about how I carry myself, from how I speak to how I exercise to how I spend my time to how I dress–everything.
They are powerful motivators to have me take care of me.
10. Self-Care is HARD
We all know self-care is important, especially if we want to be the best role model for our kids.
But WOW. I had no idea how hard it is to carve time out for yourself. I am four years into being a mom, and I still struggle with this. Although, I am getting better!
It takes a very conscious effort to make time for myself. I had no idea how easy it is to get lost in my kids/work/husband and to all of a sudden realize I need to check in and remember I am my own person still.
That I have my own hobbies. That I dedicate at least 15 minutes a day to myself for whatever I want to do, be it exercise, drink coffee and read, or shop on Amazon, whatever!
Taking time for ourselves as mamas is much easier said than done. But we all know the saying before taking off on a flight: “Put your mask on first before putting on your child’s.”
Self-care helps us feel our best. And, if I am feeling my best, then I will be the best mom I can be.
11. Say Yes to Help
If the grocer asks if you’d like help with your bags, say yes. If someone offers to bring you dinner, say yes.
I don’t know why this was so hard for me to do initially.
But I will always remember the first time I said yes to the grocer helping me load my car full of groceries. It was oddly liberating and amazingly helpful.
I also remember the first time I let my mother-in-law bring over dinner. She had offered to do this so many times and I had said no because I for some reason felt bad saying yes. I quickly got over that when I realized how awesome free food is 🙂
Plus, if someone is offering to help, it’s because they want to! So let them! Having help feels so good!
12. Mom Guilt is Real
Everyone knows no one is perfect. But when you are answering to a little one 24/7, us mamas literally have to be “on” all the time.
We are bound to mess up and make a mistake, because who wouldn’t–regardless of the job–if they were “on” all the time?
The biggest area of guilt that I struggle with is how I spend my time with my kids. If I am home doing laundry, or any other task, instead of playing with them, I have guilt.
What has helped me the most is remembering quality time is more important than quantity.
I try to dedicate a few minutes a day (which is oddly hard) to each of my children one on one, as well as together.
The small chunk of time can be doing a puzzle, reading, snuggling, playing monsters, whatever! But if I give them my undivided attention for those few minutes, I find that everyone’s love tank gets filled more than if I mindlessly am just “with them” all day.
13. Time Goes FAST
We have all heard people talk about time going by fast. But someone once told me, “If you want to see the speed of time, have children.”
OMG is that true! My kids are constant reminders to me of how precious and fast time really is.
It is because of my children that I want to make sure that my family and I are truly living each day, not just surviving.
I want to live like my toddlers live, where I wake up simply excited for the day. Excited and happy over the smallest, simplest things.
Toddlers are perfect examples of living in the present. They simply do what makes them feel good. And I LOVE that.
Life is short, as we all know, so we should spend it doing what makes us feel good. It is this motto that lead me to start this blog.
I read an article on Tried and True Mom Jobs how blogging can be a great source of income, and so here I am. I didn’t know how or what to do to begin this journey, but it was a journey that sounded fun and good.
So I just went for it not knowing all the answers. I am just following the bread crumbs that lead me to my cake.
Follow your bread crumbs. Do what makes you feel good, and know that you are going to be awesome at becoming a mom!