5 Things to Know to Easily Date Your Spouse

couple kissing for a selfie photo in an article on the importance of dating your spouse

Never Stop Dating Your Spouse

We all know that dating your spouse is important.

But it can sometimes feel easier said than done in our busy lives, especially if we have children.

I have been with my husband for 17 years, and it wasn’t until several years into our marriage that I heard the best advice; it came from a former coworker who was divorced.

I was pregnant with my firstborn, and she said, “If I can give you any advice for your marriage once your baby comes, it’s to go on monthly dates.”

She went on to say that she knows that wouldn’t have saved her marriage, but she knows the dating would have helped it.

Her words really stuck with me, and so I have followed her advice and am so grateful for her sharing it.

Because of that, I wanted to share it with you, too!

This post contains affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission, at no cost to you, if you make a purchase through a link.

1. Date MONTHLY.

2 champagne glasses clinking in an article on dating your spouse ideas

When I first married, SO MANY people said, “Go on weekly dates,” for their marital advice. I think that is unrealistic…

Who has the time to do that? My husband and I tried it, but with work, hobbies, friends, and exercise, dating weekly simply wasn’t possible.

It also felt rigid. It just wasn’t us. Dating monthly is a lot more realistic and feasible.

2. Put it on the CALENDAR.

calendar and a pen

Take 5 minutes and pick the next 6 months’ worth of dates with your spouse. Don’t figure out what you’re going to do right then and there.

Just pick the date and time. That’s the hardest part. But once you have that done, you can figure out the rest later.

My husband and I send each other a calendar invite to EVERYTHING. That way, we always know each other’s schedules and we can make decisions regarding our kids’ activities/schedules (or our own) right then and there.

It’s really nice. We don’t share a calendar. We just send each other calendar invitations to doctor appointments, work appointments, kid activities, etc.

So for us, I just open up the calendar on my phone, scroll through each month, and send my husband calendar invitations for our monthly dates.

I make them random, from a weeknight date to a Saturday morning date, etc.

Then, when the dates get closer, we organize the babysitter and the date activity at that time.

3. ALTERNATE who chooses.

couple hugging in an article on dating your spouse

Take turns organizing the date. When I send my husband our monthly date calendar invitations, I say, “Monthly Date – Mandi chooses” or, “Monthly Date – Ryan chooses”.

It makes it more exciting. You both get to take turns doing what you think will be fun. Taking turns helps keep that special surprise element and spark that all of us felt when we were dating before marriage.

Alternating who organizes the date also helps maintain balance and equal effort. It never feels good to be the only one making the effort with the dating.

4. Actually LEAVE your house.

couple hugging in water in an article on never stop dating your spouse

Watching a movie on your couch once the kids are in bed does NOT count as a date night. Force yourself to get OUT. Do something new.

Happy people do new things often.

For the nights/days in between your monthly dates, it is nice to have something that is special for the two of you to do together at home, though.

For my husband and me, our special thing is playing Connect Four. When our kids are in bed, it is a convenient and easy game to play on the couch, even when we are exhausted.

Connect Four is quick and oddly addicting. We normally play 10 rounds, and it always leads to lots of laughter and smiles.

5. Have Date Night be JUST the two of you.

couple walking on the beach in an article on the importance of dating your spouse

Doing a monthly date with another couple from time to time is fine and good. But your monthly date is a special time to reconnect with just the two of you.

Your monthly date is an opportunity to have quality time together to enjoy each other without distractions. You deserve each other’s undivided attention.

2 Fun Ideas for Dating Your Spouse

2 hearts in bubbles

Going out to dinner is nice, but there are so many other fun things you can do, too! Use the outing as an opportunity to cross something off your bucket list or bring back the kid in you!

1. Do a unique sport together.

If you and your spouse aren’t into the same sports, there are many casual ones to do together where you need little to no prior experience:

  • Go roller blading.
  • Hang out at a bowling alley.
  • Go on a hike.
  • Find an indoor (or outdoor depending where you live) ice skating rink or roller skating rink.
  • Go to a batting cage.
  • Play miniature golf at places like Puttshack, or hit some balls and eat at Top Golf.
  • Take a ballroom dance class together.
  • Ride bikes.

2. Dine differently.

Instead of going to a typical restaurant where you simply eat out, there are different kinds of fun dining experiences like the ones below.

  • Google a dueling pianos near you.
  • Find a local dinner theatre (not a movie theatre, but a live performance).
  • Go to a restaurant with live music.

Monthly Dates With Your Kids

dad and daughter dancing in a field

We all know that dating your spouse strengthens the emotional bond between the two of you. We know it enhances communication and strengthens trust. And, we all know that dating your spouse reduces stress and improves relationship satisfaction.

The same goes for spending quality time with our children. Depending on how many children you have, it might be hard to squeeze in monthly one-on-one time with each of your kids.

But, my husband and I recently started inputting monthly dates with our kids into our calendars, and we all LOVE it. It’s our most favorite family tradition we have.

We have a 5 year old daughter and a 3 year old son. Once a month we do a Mother Son Day and a Father Daughter Day OR a Girls’ Day and a Guys’ Day.

I wish we had the time to do one-on-one time with both kids individually every month; but for us, we alternate.

The conversation and bonding that happens is so very special.

Quality time is the glue that holds a relationship together. The time we spend with our loved ones ensures they feel supported, connected, and loved.

I hope the ideas listed here get you excited about dating your spouse (and spending time with your kiddos)! I’d love to hear which idea you like the most! Share in the comments section below.

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