Telling Kids the Truth About Santa: Why We Did It Early
Telling Kids About Santa Magic
Telling kids about Santa and knowing when and how to do it can feel surprisingly hard.
So I was extra relieved when it ended up being easy to tell my children.
How we talk to kids about Santa can be a sensitive and complex topic; many parents feel unsure as to how they want to share the story of Santa.
It is a decision that reflects your own beliefs, traditions, and values–something I truly grappled with and felt conflicted on for awhile.
If you are in a similar boat, feeling unsure, then keep reading. I share my story not to tell you the “right way” or the “best way” to telling kids about Santa.
I only share in hopes that it helps you determine your own story. In a society that pushes Santa hard, it can feel oddly uncomfortable if you have the desire to not make Christmas all about Santa for your own family.
Know that you are not alone!
Our Santa Story
I was driving my 5 year old daughter and 3 year old son to school, and it was Halloween season.
In our neighborhood, families go all out with decorations. As my kids were seeing witches smashed into trees, monsters with outstretched arms, and skeletons laying in yards, my kids’ questions started rolling in:
“Are witches real, Mom?” (I explained they were pretend.)
“But can you fly on a broom in real life?” (No…)
“Are monsters real?” (I replied that they are not.)
“What about dinosaurs?” (I said yes, that they used to live a long time ago.)
“Are rainbows real?” (Yes.)
“Are unicorns?” (No.)
“What about Santa?” my oldest asked…
Being that she was only 5, I really paused here. I grew up writing letters to Santa and leaving cookies out for him. But after answering a slue of questions about what is real and what is not, it felt odd to me to not answer truthfully.
I also hesitated because my 3 year old was in the car, and I just never imagined my children asking these types of questions so young.
But in that moment, I decided to explain Santa was just for fun. And my kids happily kept on asking questions about other topics of what is real or pretend. It was no big deal.
It felt good to respect their curiosity and answer truthfully. I think when children come to us with questions, we should answer them honestly (and age appropriately of course).
If we don’t, they will keep asking others until they find the answer they’re searching for.
Children only believe in Santa because we tell them to; and Santa is a big deal only because adults make it a big deal.
How to Explain Santa
There are so many ways you can explain the truth about Santa.
I know some people like to explain who Saint Nicholas was. Others like to say Santa is pretend, but his spirit of giving is real. Some like to say he’s a legend or myth in stories.
For my kids, I said he is a game people like to play for fun. At home, my children love to play “Monster”, a game where they run around screaming and laughing, pretending their dad is a monster who chases them.
So for my children, I said, “You know how you like to pretend Dad is a monster and have him chase you? But you know Dad is really just Dad, and not a monster? And even though you know Dad is not a monster, it’s still fun to pretend he is one?
“That’s what people like to do with Santa. They like to play a game pretending Santa comes and brings presents, but really it’s just the parents who do it. And people think it’s fun to pretend he’s real.”
My kids answered, “Can we pretend Santa is real?” I said, ‘Of course!”
Respecting Other People’s Beliefs
Telling kids about Santa brings the concern of, “What if my kids tell others Santa isn’t real?”…”What if my kids ruin it for others?”
To help prevent that from happening, I have told my children, “At school, you will hear others talk about Santa. If you do, don’t tell them Santa isn’t real; that is up to their parents to tell them that. Some parents like to wait. So you can just play the Santa game with them.”
Two years later, my kids haven’t ruined it for anyone. I think the less you make it a big deal, the easier it is.
I also think it’s helpful to remember that your kids are probably not the only ones in class who know the truth about Santa; your child’s class most likely has students of various beliefs and religions.
Telling Kids About Santa And Keeping the Magic Alive
For me, Christmas is about the spirit of giving. It’s about time with family and loved ones. It’s about the fun of receiving presents and seeing the city sparkle in decorations. The festiveness and joy the Christmas season brings is where the magic is–not Santa.
I used to worry if I ruined Christmas for my kids by telling them too soon about Santa. But I quickly realized my children’s excitement for Christmas is just as great as anyone else’s.
My kids, being as young as they are, are of course incredibly eager to wake up to presents under a tree. And it’s nice they know the gifts come from family and friends, not some stranger in a red suit who creeps into our house in the middle of the night.
It’s nice they know they receive presents because they are loved unconditionally, not because they have been “good”.
Instilling Traditions Helps with Telling Kids About Santa
Having Christmas traditions you and your children can look forward to helps soften the truth about Santa.
For us, the Christmas season kicks off with hot chocolate and Family Game Night the day after Thanksgiving.
We set time aside to create new ornaments for our tree. We do a Christmas Countdown Book Box. We decorate a gingerbread house with Gigi and make Christmas cookies with Nana and cousins.
We select a child in need to be Santa to and have fun deciding which toys to give him or her. We attend the Nutcracker.
The Christmas season is filled with special moments, all around the central ideas of love, generosity, and time together. Santa is a very small piece of it.
Read Next:
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6 Beautiful Benefits of Playing Board Games With Your Family
